BonnyLogic

Shopping today for school uniform. Most children pass the time spent on a long journey by playing the red car blue car game... not Bonny. She uses the time it takes to get to the next big town, by musing on inventions. Past inventions have included a tube that goes up ones bottom to enable poop to emerge stripey and rainbow coloured, a la Aquafresh toothpaste. This is, apparently, to cheer us up. We have had to draft a letter to Ford Motors which suggests a single top mounted windscreen wiper (like a train has?) instead of two which sweep in arcs across the screen. No reply.
Today, after discussing the swine flu epidemic (down nationally, way way up locally) Bonny suggests that someone needs to design an outfit to keep swine flu at bay. This outfit will consist of trousers, hat and jumper. These items are peppered with valves which puff out sprays of disinfectant, and should be worn in all public places. A letter to Versace may do the trick.

Other fantastic news - whilst standing outside Asda to receive an important phone call, a sudden gust of mean spiteful wind resulted in my skirt whipping up around my chin. There were no wolfwhistles, however a surge in the purchase of over the counter anti emetics was reported at the pharmacy counter in store.