Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Domestic Daze

Innocently reading one of my favourite blogs the other day, I was assaulted. I know that some of our Sisters over the Pond can do and say things that show us Euros what madness goes on in that wild ol' frontier land, however this little gem was linked to in all seriousness as a wonderful thing.
I hardly have words to describe this ... take a minute to feast upon the free sample page.

Now, is it just me? Is this completely fucken bonkers? There is even an option to purchase a version which not only plans out the time you spend cutting coupons (wtf?), but slips in a rota for scriptural reading, so that you can read the ENTIRE BIBLE IN A YEAR! Whoo! Go sisters. Change the hand towels, cut the coupons, plan the menus, weep for Jesu? I really can't get my head around it. Are housewives minds being so eroded that they need a calendar to prod them to clean the oven, check the toilet rolls and play with the children?
I might do one myself. It might look something like this.

Sunday - Make tea and toast, go back to bed.
Ring the pub and find out what time the carvery starts.
Read blogs.
Read the paper.
Go to the pub.
Come home, wash uniforms, read blogs.

Monday - Wake up, congratulate self that only work part time.
Make tea, go back to bed.
Make pastry for pie, congratulate self at housewifely skills.
Read blogs.
Go to toilet. Ten mins later realise there are no toilet rolls, shout kids to bring tissues.
Play Disney Triv.
Check watch, pour wine. Watch film. Flick through magazine.

Tuesday - Wake up, lean back & look out of window. If sunny, get up. Find bikini.
Walk to hammock. Lay down.
Go back inside six hours later. Find aftersun, make evening meal.
Go to bed.


Really, do people need to be told what to do? My house is tidy. My kids are happy. I am happy(ish). We are all well fed and clean. Why does this thing exist?


Chippy said...

Lol, yep, some sad people out there...
I got the get up and go to bed bits sorted, its the shite in between thats difficult...

archie said...

Agggg, I'm a male and I've been subject to those sorts of timetables all my life. The ones where you spend your days doing stuff for others. At last I can do what I want. Pity the house is such a mess. :)

Flighty said...

That's something else from the other side of the pond that we can surely do without!
Now where's this weeks schedule!

EmmaK said...

my day's 'achievements' are similar to yours. I try and cram as much 'down time' and relaxation into any given period and I don't feel guilty when I am not working, cleaning etc. But there are people - NO, I'M SERIOUS - who feel bad when they are not doing something productive, and those lists are for them. When they're done doing their own tasks they can come and scrape the green mold out from the bottom of my fridge!

Pesk said...

chippy - at least the weathers perking up (ho ho)

archie - bugger the house

flighty - the hammock is off this week, lounging on the sofa with a good book is - as ever - on!

Emma - a woman after my own heart. I can do us a schedule this week, you do the next?

nursemyra said...

archie has some very strange sexual habits already. please don't encourage him to bugger anything....

the witchfynder said...

I tried to read the bibile once but it made me want to burn people at the stake. So I made a living out of it and the rest, as they say, is history.
Timetables suck. especially where public transport is concerned, because they're all lies. Every one. 2 minutes my arse!

archie said...

@ nursemyra, [blush] I told you the sheep is a liar!

Pesk said...

nurse myra - madam, you are so bad.

witchfynder - i'd like your job. i already know where my boss and also my ex ma in law live. wanna help?
archie - it was the goat.

archie said...

Alas it wasn't even a goat. I have reformed! But don't disillusion nursemyra :)

I've added some sexual spice
Tho you may not think I am nice
I've given up cows
(My New Yearly vows)
And taken up buggering mice.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

OHMIGOD, one of the 'chores' (as opposed to the 'tasks', I was paying attention), was to lay out clothes for tomorrow. I'm in awe.